Broken Perfectionism

This is a special post written for and featured on, “Women’s Ministry Monday” over at Purposeful Faith! Be encouraged and inspired today!

“A dangerous leader is one that has great familiarity with their skills and gifts but cursory knowledge of their inner brokenness.” – Dan White, Jr.

I will admit it. I want everyone to like me. The two things I have struggled with most of my life are people-pleasing and perfectionism. In the past, if someone didn’t like me or critiqued my work, I would spend an unhealthy and disproportionate amount of time lamenting on where I went wrong. Then I would make a plan to fix it. The problem was, no matter how hard I tried, I still disappointed people and made mistakes.

It could be because I am human. As far as I know, human beings can strive for excellence but they can never be perfect. Having the hope of perfectionism is like having a boat with a hole in it and thinking you can stay afloat if you can just keep the water out of the bottom. Eventually, you will take on more water than you can bail out and get tired of trying to fulfill other people’s expectations. This leads to burnout or drowning. Neither, a good option.

But what if I was perfect? Would everyone like me then?

Actually, the answer is no.

Listen for a moment to this story of Jesus. On Palm Sunday, Jesus made his triumphal entrance into Jerusalem on a humble donkey. The people were so enamored by Jesus they lined the street with their cloaks and palm leaves in honor of who they believed to be the next royal King from the line of David. Jesus could do no wrong. Five days later, that same King hung on a splintered wooden cross with a crown of thorns on his innocent head – naked, accused, mocked, beaten, hated, and judged – but still perfect.  

As the story ends, we see it was obedience, not perfection that changed the world forever.

As leaders, it is easy for our interactions with others to become performance driven. We can become actors on a ministry stage. Our actions being guided and directed by audience approval and recognition. If left unattended, the approval and recognition of others will eventually affirm or challenge our identity and self-worth, leaving God’s opinion back-stage.

We must maintain the ability to embrace our gifts, God’s words, and our brokenness at the same time. For me, a broken perfectionism has been the path to being a healthier leader.

You are unique and distinctive. Your leadership matters. Live fearlessly for Jesus today, my friends, and be encouraged by these last scriptures and a quote from Brennan Manning. I will be here cheering you on!

Brennan Manning wrote: “God loves you without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are not as you should be! Real freedom is the freedom from the opinion of others. Above all, freedom from your opinion about yourself.”

“Man looks on the outward appearance and, but the LORD looks at the heart” (I Samuel 16:7 NIV).

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10 NIV).

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8 NIV).

I would love to hear your thoughts on a Broken Perfectionism. Please don’t hesitate to share your stories or comments below. If I can encourage you through coaching or prayer, please connect with me.

If you found this blog helpful or encouraging, it would be the greatest complement to me if you shared it on your social networks. Thank you for helping build our community!

What you and your friends can expect when you sign-up for my blog: New subscribers receive the 1st chapter of Pivot Leadership: Small Steps…Big Change, as a free thank you gift from me (If you are already a subscriber and would like a copy, PLEASE email me). In addition, you should know, it is not my goal to fill up your inbox with emails. You can expect one blog post, of my best work in your inbox every Monday morning. My goal is to kick off your week with inspiration and tools that will bring meaning and purpose to your life and leadership.

Until next time, have an incredible week!

Angela