My heart sank as I watched our first Pursuit Church Live Facebook video and heard myself stumbled and stutter to read an excerpt out of our book of the month. I felt an immediate wave of nausea as I imagined people’s reaction to the video. I saw them hitting pause, and then the delete button, while thinking to themselves, “She should never speak in front of a camera.”
As my mind swam through the list of negative comments, I imagined people saying, I asked God, “Is this really what you want me to do? There are so many people that do this better than me.”
In 1991, I was in a car accident which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. I do not see myself as a person with disabilities but there are some days, like this one, that make it clear – this disability is still a reality.
When I see myself struggle, the diagnoses given by the neurologists, seem hard to escape. According to the tests my neurologist gave me, I still have a seventh grade reading and writing skill level due to injury.
Some have mistaken my “slow to speech” mannerisms as a lack of intelligence, and some have called me stupid.
It is times like these, I feel like Moses when he threw up his objections when God called him to lead.
Exodus 4:10 – 12 (Message) reads:
Moses raised another objection to God: “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer.”
God said, “And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, God? So, get going. I’ll be right there with you—with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.”
Like Moses, there are times I want to tell God, choose someone else. I can’t do it. And then God softly answers, “I understand and I will be with you.”
A brain injury, this is the raw truth about my own humanness. However, it doesn’t determine who I am. More importantly, it doesn’t determine who God is.
Courage comes from stepping into your calling, flaws and all.
Tweet ThisAs I read the story of Moses, I see, it was through his constant communication with God that he had the courage and faith to lead a group of ex-slaves (the Israelites) to become a strong and unstoppable nation.
God’s word never tells us that Moses was healed from his imperfections. Instead, it tells us about the character of a man who bravely and obediently stepped into God’s purpose for his life, changing the lives of countless others.
If you have been waiting to step into your calling, ask yourself why? What do you think you need? Take a few minutes to make an honest assessment of what is keeping you from becoming brave. Then ask God to step in. He hears you and will answer.
We must persevere in the calling God has given us no matter our disability, race, gender, background or current circumstances. Too many people are waiting for YOU to show up!
Undeniably, the only thing we need is God’s call and His help. Be encouraged today, God is with you!
MaryAnn
November 20, 2019Oh Angela, I’m always so proud of you, my friend. Thank you again for showing us all how to be courageous in the face of opposition, we need to be reminded of that. Your cheerful, smiling face always lifts me up. Keep up the good work you are doing. Love and hugs,
MaryAnn Dalessi
Angela L Craig
January 27, 2020Thank you for the loving message. I appreciate your support and friendship!